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How to Troll a Craigs List Scammer

Posted By: Sampak on Sep 27, 2013 - 11:39 AM
How to Troll a Craigslist Scammer

So I had placed an ad on Craigs List to sell my car's performance muffler. Several weeks pass by and no response. Then suddenly one day I get an email. I got excited thinking, yes, finally an interested buyer! Then I looked at the sender's name, "Andy Eick." Hmm another one of 'those.' You know, those funny 'sender' names that never make any sense or sound proper. Mark Mack. Manager James. Official Bank.

Sure enough his entire message read "Still for sale?" with a link to my ad at the bottom. Now usually that sounds innocent right? A potential buyer just making sure I still have the item for sale. Well being a Craigs List user for a few years I've gotten used to such spam email. I'm sure most of us have by now have come across one of those emails from someone in Africa promising a fortune if I were to 'hold' their uncle/cousin/minister/V.I.P.'s money in our personal account they ask us for and then when it all seems too good to be true, it is... they want your home address and ss# and all kinds of red flags go off.

How to Troll a Craigslist Scammer Well with that in context, I was bored, no... frustrated that I've yet to sell this stupid muffler that everyone seemed to talk about and the one response I get is some scheming scammer. So I gathered my thoughts, and start typing out a response....

(A few references I use that you should be aware of for your enjoyment: A "V8" is apparently the local colloquial for a brand new late model Toyota Land Cruiser SUV with a V8 engine, sought after by many such as the South Sudanese rich/politicians/anyone with clout, some say replacing the traditional cattle head-count as a status symbol. And I mention Lagos, a bustling port city in Nigeria. Don't ask me how I know these things. Oh, and feel free to google the return address at the end there.)

My Response

"No it is not for sale. I sold it to another Nigerian official who promised me that he'll pay me 23 million dollars if I let his dying uncle Alfred Musugo Butelezi get this last wish granted. He always wanted a Nissan Altima Coupe BORLA Exhaust Muffler and once I confirm that I have shipped the item, I will be sent an official bank-check with half payment of the monies, at which point I'm free to deposit it into my account. Upon arrival in Lagos, the Nissan Altima Coupe BORLA Exhaust Muffler will be verified and then remaining half of the payment will then be direct deposited to my account, pending my details which I will email forthwith via registered mail to a PO box somewhere in the USA.

If all this sounds amazing, yes it really is. I cannot believe that I will finally grasp my dream of becoming an overnight millionaire, all by the graces of an old dying man who wishes nothing but to experience the satisfaction of owning a Nissan Altima Coupe BORLA Exhaust Muffler before his last breath.

Now, if you wish to purchase the Nissan Altima Coupe BORLA Exhaust Muffler, I can still recall the shipment and divert it to your address, which you can send me in your reply. All I ask is that you pay off my yearly taxes and property mortgage for the remaining years of the contract with the land owner.

Also I can supply you with information of a good dealer who sells JDM "V8" badges that are so popular with the north African locals who covet the Toyota as if its cylinders were running Impala blood through their vacuum tubes and exhaling powerful wilde beast winds from its mufflers. The JDM "V8" badge will guarantee that anyone who passes near your Toyota will instantly recognize and respect your status within the local parliamentary chairs just like the South Sudanese crooks who pretend to be influential with their blood money purchase Toyota V8's. I can promise you the satisfaction of all of this for the low cost of the aforementioned payment of my future taxes and such related land ownership costs, and the exclusive rights to the Nissan Altima Coupe BORLA Exhaust Muffler which you can even fit onto your Toyota V8 like the grand mufti himself would never have dreamed of adorning on his V8 fleet.

Reply now and I can discount you the cost by only charging for the land ownership of southern Lagos and shares of a quarter of your mustiest cattle heads (must be halal).

Thanking you and awaiting your much favorable response,

Sincerely,

Mark Momodo Adub Hassan.
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20535"

Sadly, I got no response from Andy. I suppose he had bigger things on his mind than all the promises I made. :(

Article Comments

David Sep 27, 2013 - 12:09 PM
lol, I'm sure Mr. Andy is doing everything he can to get the funds to you!
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